Sent Beka Feb 3rd 2017
Hi Bek, Hello my beautiful daughter. I can see the economy is doing pretty well. Since you are graduating this year, the job situation looks pretty optimistic. Can you believe that after the US was in a 7 year recession you are coming into. Jobs with the highest demand in almost 12 years? I heard looking into monster.com, and different job search aid you will have a great opportunity for finding what you would like to go into. Love Dad 
Hi Beka,
Happy Valentines day. I hope you are doing something wonderful today. Here are some links for some songs. I hope you enjoy them. I remember blasting the first one on the way to school with you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSD4vsh1zDA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0put0_a--Ng Much love Dad 
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Happy Valentines day 2018
April 21st, 2017. (Not sent)
Happy Birthday Beka! I hope you find what you are looking for. Love Dad Hi Beka, April 21st, 2017.
I've sent you some emails lately that are just cursory and I don't know what you want other than to be left alone, but before I leave you alone, I wanted to apologize because I don't feel like you've ever gotten a true apology. I apologize for not knowing. I apologize for hitting your head on that Carousel back in New Jersey on the Steel Pier. I apologize for not knowing where pinky is at. I apologize for pushing you too hard on the soccer field. I apologize for not picking you up in Cape Cod when you saw those hermit crabs and holding you tight and telling you not to worry. I'm sorry that I did not go on those walks with you cuz I was too fat or too lazy or both. I'm sorry for not being there, and keeping my mind on other things and not being here in the present. I'm sorry for yelling at you in the car that day for I was losing it and did not know how to act. I'm sorry for losing my temper at times throughout our relationship. I'm sorry for reading you Green Eggs and Ham so many times. I'm sorry for singing on your favorite songs and not shutting up. I'm sorry that when I thought I was joking around, I actually hurt your feelings. I'm sorry that you feel I don't listen. I'm sorry that I don't listen. I'm sorry for not giving you more hugs and more attention. I'm sorry that you feel that I don't love you. I am sorry that you are depressed and have anxiety. I am sorry that I made you go on the roller coaster at Carowinds. I'm sorry the way I handled our relationship that would bring it to this point. I am sorry for any wrongdoing that you think I've done or I had done that made you feel bad. I am sorry that you felt that you needed to testify against me. Sorry for hiding in that closet at one time and scaring you. I am sorry for making you walk up the hill to the house. I'm sorry if I ever beat you in basketball. I am sorry for trying to make you run, on the soccer field. I'm sorry for trying to make you eat fruit. I am sorry for not being the father that you wish you had. I am sorry for hurting your mother. I'm sorry for not understanding. I'm sorry for not being there for you when you needed me. I am sorry for all of my bad jokes. I'm sorry for making you a swimming with the fish in the ocean and that upset you. I'm sorry for not being the father that you wished I was. I'm sorry for bringing your signed soccer ball on to that field that day and lost it. I'm sorry for not changing and not understanding how sorry for not listening better. I'm sorry for not sending this to you sooner. I'm sorry for anything and everything I've ever done. I apologize for driving the car until you got car sick. I apologize I made you do all those math problems in the car on the way to school . I apologize I didn't work with you on the computer when you asked me to. I apologize I couldn't help with some of your homework because it was over my head . I apologize if I threw the ball too hard or too soft when we were playing catch in the pool . I apologize I didn't spend more time with you . I apologize I spent too much time with you when is was upsetting to you. I apologize that I didn't react the way you wanted me to when you dented that car in the Lowe's parking lot. I apologize about the swing set that I bought, and never put up. I apologize for all the times I hit the gas when you were trying to drink something. I apologize for telling my really really bad jokes. I apologize for making you watch Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory. I apologize or anytime I've ever beating you in horse and made you feel bad. I apologize for apologizing when you sent me this letter that you did not want to hear from you at all. If you find it necessary to go to the police because of this letter and apology I would gladly go and throw myself on the mercy of the Court, and on your Mercy, that you, one day will ever forgive me. Beca, you are a truly amazing individual with unlimited potential. A brilliant mind and I know a beautiful heart. From the bottom of my heart with all the love and radiance that one person could ever ask for . I wish you a beautiful life. Happy birthday and all the wonders of the world. Happy birthday love Dad. Sent Mar 9th, 2017
Hi B, I came across a great book by Tony Robbins on how to get those ducks in a row. I highly recommend it. I wasn't always good at explaining finance to you growing up. One of the things I love about this book, It tells you how to manage the money you have coming in and what to do with it. In other words... Budgeting. :). I thought you might enjoy this book. I am sure you have heard of Tony Robbins. I have been listening to a lot of his personal growth cd's. I found that his work is very uplifting and helps me stay grounded and forward looking. Hope you are doing well. Love Dad Sent Mar 9th, 2017
Hi B, Birds and the Bees. You know I can't talk about this in a way you don't tell me to TMI. So here goes, I hope you find someone that values your opinion at the same time, is as smart as you are. Realizes you can be wrong and the art of compromise, is just that, an art. Although I might get to deep, breath, love, and smile. The world is literally at your fingertips and it is only up to you to be positive for you. I have found these youtube videos you might enjoy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opMQxa1JkuM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHv6vTKD6lg Sent Jan 6th 2017
Hello B, I saw that NC State is still one of the best in the country. Ranked number 6. Not surprising probably because you're there. You must be in the most amazing classes at this point. Being a senior in college you got to experience quantum physics and everywhere it can go. It's amazing how far you've grown and how far you have come. I am not surprised that you've Advanced your nature by going to Raleigh and NC State, it gives you a whole new perspective being in a bigger city around so many new and different kinds of people. I was looking at jobs in your field the other day and read the graduates usually start out finding higher salarie jobs then most colleges graduates. All of your hard work will definitely pay off. I saw that the walking Track at NC State is really nice and it looks new. I know how much you enjoy walking/hiking and I hope you have found some personal time to enjoy the walking track and the amenities at State. I read a good book recently, Haha just kidding, although I have listened to some great books on audible.. Tony Robbins, and a few inspirational ones. He is also on youtube. It made me think of you and I thought you might enjoy it. I saw this Museum of Natural Science and thought it looked so amazing. I am sure you have already been there, here is the link in case you have not been there yet, it is really close to the state campus. http://naturalsciences.org/?gclid=Cj0KEQiAsf_BBRDMpoOHw4aSq4QBEiQAPm7DL4oDBuNKOonDBODCXCj_P91oW7qYXNFEZ6K-OrkLk2MaAgOj8P8HAQ Welp, I love you and hope you are doing well and enjoying your senior year Love Dad 
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